Go to “Raw”, put it under siege, and kick ’em right in the mouth!

Hey, kids!  It’s your friendly neighborhood Botch here to deliver some serious Smack Talk in place of our Queen this week.  A storm hit her humble abode earlier this week and she lost power so she was unable to watch the episode with us.  She has power back now (did as of last night) but doing “The Royal Flush” would have taken her a bit longer so I offered to fill in for her.  I know it won’t be the same as her shoes are impossible to fill but I’ll do my very best here.  Let’s get started, shall we?

 

In-ring segment – Shane McMahon

Shane always gets it done on the mic and this was no different.  He continued to tell the “Raw vs. Smackdown” story quite convincingly and revealed himself to be the captain of the team which shocks no one.  I’ve become interested in it and want to see how it turns out.

 

Roode vs. Ziggler

Ziggler and Roode can both work their faces off and we got that here. Great work from both of them. I could probably watch them work 1000 matches together and never be bored. I’ve always been a sucker for the prettiness of the Zig Zag and this was no different. Bobby’s DDT is also a thing of beauty. I also have to say that few sell like Ziggler. He really makes the person he’s working with look like a million bucks.

 

New Day (Kofi as Brother Love, Xavier as Jimmy Hart, and Big E. as the Hakeem the African Dream)

The red-ness of Kofi’s face DESTROYED me.  I love Brother Love dearly but I wish Kofi would have dressed as “The Doctor of Style, Slick” instead.  Aiden English and Rusev heeled on them beautifully.  This sets up a match between Big E. and Rusev.  Great short segment that had me laughing my face off.

 

Smackdown women backstage segment (Becky Lynch, Charlotte, Naomi, Carmella, Lana, and Tamina (and Ellsworth dressed as a dog)

Becky is an absolutely riot.  Her spraying water in Ellsworth’s face was genius.  Nattie is turning into one heck of a heel.  She’s become quite believable and smarmy.  Everybody else kinda stood there.

 

Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara

It’s always hard when you’ve got a really big guy taking on a smaller guy.  Sin Cara and Baron are aware of this, though, and have the chops to make this look good…and it did.  Sin Cara showed a viciousness that we hadn’t seen before.  He came unglued and I loved it!  He put Baron through a table, he threw chairs, it was just amazing!  It was very reminiscent of what Cedric Alexander did on “205 Live” a couple of weeks ago.

 

Renee w/ Usos and Shelton Benjamin & Chad Gable

The Usos have gone from being completely boring to being must-watch.  Benjamin and Gable have become a lot of fun too.  Chad spittin’ rhymes is about the funniest thing ever.  He was completely credible and a total riot.  This is the second wek he’s done this and I’ve loved it each time.  Shelton was right there with him and it was a very good segment all around.  There seems to be good chemistry there between them – something that wasn’t evident at first.

 

In-ring segment – The Singhs w/ Jinder Mahal

The Singhs mocking Paul Heyman is a total riot.  They are the only thing exciting about Jinder’s complete bust of a title reign.  This has been a complete mistake.  No matter what happens, WWE cannot make him feel like a top guy.  They rushed it anyway but since then, the weakness of Jinder as a main event guy has become all the more evident.  His mic work is completely robotic.  I know that it’s all scripted but it feels especially so when Jinder is spouting the lines on the mic.  The only thing that’s made any of this fun are the Singhs.  It’s worth mentioning that are both fantastic in the ring as a team and I can’t wait for the former Bollywood Boyz to break off and show everyone how great they really are.

 

AJ Styles vs. Sunil Singh

Of course, Sunil completely jobbed in expected SD Jones/King Kong Bundy fashion. Jinder’s attack at the end of the match was well-placed and moves the feud along. They have to make Jinder look stronger so it looks like he MIGHT have a shot against Lesnar but it matters not. No matter what they do, we know what the outcome will be.

 

Backstage segment – Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

I cannot begin to explain how completely thrilled I am that Zayn was turned.  He is INCREDIBLE this way.  He is absolutely perfect and far more interesting this way. Owens and Zayn’s plan to “rule the world” is pretty compelling too.  Let’s see if they can pull it off!

 

Bludgeon Brothers vignette

Both of them have been on the shelf for a long time so I really hope they can pull this off.

 

In-ring segment – Rusev w/ Aiden English

Aiden can legitimately sing so the song wouldn’t have worked if he couldn’t. The New Day interrupted and Aiden going, “what!” in the middle of his song was really funny. Of course, they came out dressed as Hakeem, Jimmy, and Brother Love.

 

Rusev vs. Big E.

Big E has charisma for years and it comes out whether he’s on the mic or in the ring.  At some point, New Day will break up (I know…tears).  When it happens, Big E. will go on to do great things if there’s any justice.  As for the match, I always love watching one competitor work on the body part of another.  It’s very Minnesota Wrecking Crew, I know, but I always enjoy it.  It enables us to see whether or not the worker being worked on is interested in selling.  In this case, Big E. was up for it and he told the story quite well.  He never forgot to sell and I loved that.  Rusev and Big E. have excellent chemistry in there and the match was excellent.  The schmoz at the end that got Rusev the W was just fantastic!

 

Sin Cara interview with Renee

This wasn’t bad at all!  His mask makes it difficult to talk through and there were issues understanding him but he nailed it for the most part.  He remained angry got that across well.  I also love the white contacts.  Nice touch!

 

Backstage segment – Shane w/ Aiden and Rusev

We almost saw Shane crack! He bit his lip and got out of it. Aiden’s reaction when Shane stopped him from singing was great too! Shane singing at the end of it was fantastic!

Strangerer Things

I died on the “Uggo Buttermilk” box. LOL!!!  Viktor was a riot and….TY DILLINGER!?!?  What???  Konnor was a riot too.  This is completely strange stuff but when isn’t it?  I’m still entertained by them and that’s all that matters, really.

 

Kevin Owens vs. Shinsuke Namakura

This match right here!  Shinsuke’s charisma can carry a match all by itself.  Love Owens’ trash talk during the match.  There wasn’t a ton of it here but it really adds to his matches.  Zayn’s appearance at ringside is to be expected and he really added a lot.  The suplex off the top rope was a thing of beauty – especially when they slowed it down.  The look on Owens face when Orton appeared was incredible.  He deleted (yeah, I said it) Zayn by putting him through the announce table he set up and Nakamura delivered a beautiful KINSHASAAAAAAAAA ending this one.  Owens and Nakamura worked really well here and this was a fantastic match.

All in all, a very good episode of “Raw”.  I really enjoyed most of it.  I really want to see what Rowan and Harper can make of this Bludgeon Brothers thing.  Shane has sold me on the PPV already so I’m all in.  Let me know what you thought of this week’s “Smackdown Live” in the comments below!  Our illustrious Queen will return next week with “The Royal Flush”.

  • Vomkrieg

    I’m playing Warhammer Total war right now, and the Bludgeon Brothers look like characters straight out of that game world. Even their promos feel like a warhammer script.