“Whoever Told You That Money Can’t Buy You Happiness is a Liar!”

I have to be honest.  I’ve been given absolutely no reason to care about the UK division and I couldn’t have named it’s champ if you put a gun to my head.  The UK championship contest happened…and then nothing.  I’ll say that the belt is nice.

 

In-ring segment – “The ‘Zo Show”

Well, they put absolutely no thought into set design.  Enzo does what he always does.  He did get stumped a bit with the “boring” chants.  His line to get out of it was corny (“I’m the opposite of that”).  “Blandchester” was corny too.  When he said he didn’t know “Pete Dunne’s” name, I can sympathize.  They’ve done nothing with him so I have no reason to care either.  Anyway, he then trotted the guys out – the ones WWE will forget about when they return to the U.S.

Jordan Devlin, the first one Enzo spoke to, is completely boring and he spoke like he was scripted.  I know everything is but it shouldn’t sound like it.  Devlin sounded like it and it was awful.  In fact, all that spoke did.  They are all completely boring.  For those who don’t know, Mark Andrews was Mandrews in TNA/whatever-it’s-name-is-this-week and he wasn’t used well there (shocker, I know).  Here, he doesn’t even get the chance to speak.  Tyler Bate is truly awful.  His attempt at acting was almost “Jumpin’ Jeff Farmer”-esque.  Never.  Act.  Again.  Truly awful segment.

The segment was brought to a merciful end by Kalisto’s entrance music.  Never have I been happier to hear that music (it is good music) than I was here.

 

Kalisto vs. “Gentleman” Jack Gallagher

They changed his theme music!  I know they had to but I’ll miss the old theme.  Kalisto is in need of a gym.  He’s really getting pudgy and that can’t be good for him.  His Hurricanrana that slammed Gallagher’s head into the mat was pure genius though!  This was one was, honestly, a little sloppy actually but it was an okay match from guys who can do so much better.

 

Backstage – Enzo w/ Dasha

Angry Enzo works wonders and it did here too.  This was short and sweet!

 

Joseph Connors & James Drake vs. Mark Andrews & Cedric Alexander

I know…who?  WWE has done nothing with three of them so why should we care?  The “closer look” segments didn’t particularly help either…except for Connors.  Connors and Drake came out to near-silence and that’s a real shame.  Of all of the UK guys, Connors is the one who most interests me the most.  There’s a real charisma about him that none of the other guys have.  Cedric is incredibly crispy in there, though he was a bit sloppy a time or two.  Andrews’ shooting star press was really sloppy and that ended the match.

 

Tyler Bate segment

He does nothing for me, honestly.  It covered his journey to this point but did so very quickly without telling me much about him at all.  Apparently, he names his fists.  Good to know.

 

Tyler Bate vs. Enzo Amore

This wasn’t pretty good!  I loved Tyler’s rebound lariat!  Never seen that before.  It looked as though Enzo was throwing him through the ropes but he hooked the top roped, bounced back, and clotheslined Enzo.  Very nice!  Tyler’s fall from grace from the top rope to the outside looked nasty.  Enzo’s clothesline was brilliant too and Tyler sold it very well.  Enzo’s victory was decisive and not the least bit cheap.  He needed a legit win and now he has one.  Both of them worked hard.  That after-match attack was nice and Kalisto was, of course, going to be the one to come in for the save.

All in all, this was a throwaway.  WWE was in Manchester so they threw largely-unknown UK talent at us.  This was a hard one to get through for me and I’m glad it’s over.  Onward to stuff I care about next week…