Southpaw Right-Handed Jab

Hey, kids, it’s the Botching one subbing for Dre for this week’s “Getback.  This was a good show to review and we had much fun in “Dignified Discussions” too.  We’re all still buzzing about the women’s Royal Rumble match – the first of its kind.  We’ve finished a videocast on that very subject and hope to get it up in a day or two after the post-production work is done.  Anyway, let’s get to this show, shall we?

 

John Cena and Elias

They play off each other very well and Elias handled the CM Punk chants very well.  Really, both of them did.  This was all to set up a match, shaky though the premise of said match is.  John can go with anyone despite what anyone says so he was game.  Elias is a star who’s just waiting to burst out and when he does, he’ll be unstoppable.  I really wish they’d had a feud ten years ago.  It could have really been something.  I noticed as the match progressed, Elias was very careful with John as not to hurt him in any way.  John’s near AA off the second rope shows off his near freakish strength.  Unbelievable that he can still do that with relative ease at this point.  A very good match and excellent story told.  They could have thrown this match away given the day and they didn’t.  They both really gave

 

Vignette – Samoa Joe

Joe is, quite simply, platinum.  Both his ring work and mic work are stellar.  This is further proof of it – even though it’s in very packaged form.  No one does these packages better than WWE.  The story of Joe’s dominance was well-told here.

 

Kurt Angle & Jason Jordan

Jason comes off exactly as he’s supposed to – the spoiled brat who isn’t as big a deal as he thinks he is.  Rollins pleads off of him very well too.  Kurt in the middle of them was well-done too.  Roman showed up and his match was made too.  The evening is now laid out for our viewing “pleasure”.

 

In ring segment – The Brian Kendrick (w/ “Gentleman” Jack Gallagher)

Kendrick nicely reminded the Universe what Hideo is all about.  Well done.  I’m not sold on the match, mind you, but Kendrick did what he could.

 

Hideo Itami vs. The Brian Kendrick

Both of these guys can work and we already know that.  They clearly have no clue what they’re doing with Itami yet and Kendrick isn’t really embroiled in much either.  This is basically thrown together and I had no reason to care about who wins.  Of course, it’s Chicago so Itami had throw the GTS in Chicago’s face.  This was a so-so match.  I expected better of both and they simply didn’t deliver much of anything.

 

Miztourage & Sasha Banks, Mickie James, and Bayley

Bo and Curtis are quickly becoming my heroes.  They are not afraid to look silly and they certainly did here.  Sasha and Bayley reacted beautifully to it and Mickie gave us “I don’t know what to do so I’ll give stock amused face”.  Still, genius segment!

 

Absolution (Mandy Rose, Paige, and Sonya Deville) vs. Bayley, Sasha Banks, & Mickie James

How many times are we gonna get this match?  They all work well together and tell a good story but we’ve seen them do it fairly repeatedly by now.  What we didn’t get before was Sonya’s absolutely MERCILESS clothesline on Sasha!  YIKES!  It looked incredible!!  I am REALLY digging Sonya.  She comes off like a straight shooter and everything looks great from her.  She really made quite the impression here.  Paige, even though only 25, has already been wrestling for 12 years so she can really go.  I question Bayley taking the fall but it was a very good match.  In spite of how often we’ve seen it, they put on a good show here.

 

Interview – Samoa Joe

Again, platinum.  There’s really nothing else to say.  He gets the job done perfectly each time.  No one does cold and heartless better than Samoa Joe.  Hard to believe this is the same guy who was in the Florida company floundering on the mic.  Stellar interview as always.  Renee Young is, it seems, the only interviewer who understand the importance of reacting to the person she’s interviewing.  We usually get “dead face” from the others but Renee actually delivers.

 

Heath Slater vs. Kane

So now, we’re gonna get “Rhyno making Heath great again”.  Okay, I’m game.  Of course, Kane was going to eat Heath alive like he was Barry Horowitz and he did so here.  Rhyno encouraging Heath while he was out of the ring was a very nice touch too.  Kane just waited there like “what is going ON here?”.  Of course, the ending was fairly predictable.  Rhyno catching damage didn’t add much but it made Kane look more monstrous.

 

Curt Hawkins vs. Finn Balor

I LOVE that they’re working his streak into the character.  He pulls it off brilliantly.  Curt has become the new Barry Horowitz and, forgive me, but I LOVE it.  Finn came out and there went Curt’s chances.   This was a quick match that now gets Curt to 147 losses in a row.  Pretty…”impressive”.

 

Miztourage & Goldust

Curtis and Bo are KILLING me tonight!  Goldy did too because he cracked while they were singing.  After Goldy was given the DVD, he re-gifted it to Titus as Titus Worldwide came walking past.  Titus reaction when Goldy hissed at him DESTROYED me.  Too funny!  I will say that it’s a real shame that Titus Worldwide (Titus, Apollo, and Dana) are basically being used as walk-throughs lately.  They’re just barely making on TV these days.

 

In-ring segment – Bray Wyatt & “Woken” Matt Hardy

Bray’s promo was what it always is.  It’s always good but it’s…the same.  I’m not sure, if I’m Bray, how I switch it up at this point.  I was hoping for a change but he can’t really do it given his character.  He came out and “Woken” Matt was waiting to attack.  Hardy standing there and weirdly laughing at Bray while he stood at the end of the ramp was just perfect.  This moves the feud along very nicely and this attack is responsible for nearly all of the grade.  LOVED IT!

 

Backstage segment – The Bar

They play off of each other so completely well.  Loved watching that one.  The gag gifts were too much fun.  When Sheamus grabbed Jordan’s doll, it got even funnier.  They are RUTHLESS!

 

Miracle on 34th Street Fight – Enzo Amore, Ariya Daivari, & Drew Gulak vs. Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali, & Akira Tozawa

Enzo can get it done on the mic, even if it can get a bit repetitive at times.  He’s still more charismatic than most so it will aways work for me.  They all still got their spots in and it was fun but all of them can do far better.  It was just a silly gimmick match and no story of real value was told, of course.

 

Backstage segment – Enzo Amore & Nia Jax

More of this nonsense.  It’s completely implausible that either of them wold be together so I just don’t buy it.  Enzo is trying but it’s truly terrible.  Nia is wretched as a giggling school girl and that’s not helping anything either.  Alexa coming out before they both tonsil dived was quite the relief.  I’m just glad it was relatively quick.  I’m gonna get more of this whether I want it or not.  Make no mistake, I fall firmly into the “not” category.

 

Backstage segment – Roman Reigns

That IC title is looking pretty beat-up.  That strap has seen better days for sure.  Roman did the “you hurt my bros, I come for you” thing.  It got the job done, I guess, but it wasn’t anything remarkable.

 

Roman Reigns © vs. Samoa Joe

Southpaw right-hand jab.  SHUT UP, BOOKER.  Anyway, these two actually turned in a really fun match.  After some so-so stuff, it’s good to see a really good match again.  They told a great story too.  Seeing Joe’s face when the Urinage didn’t pin Reigns, Samoa Joe sold the shock well.  Roman shoved the ref in a heated moment and the Joe won via DQ – further moving their feud along.  Roman completely lost his mind after the match and destroyed Joe at the end of this match.  This works well because we need to see the same ruthlessness from Roman that we see from Joe in order to really kick this feud into high gear.  Mission accomplished.

 

Backstage – Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan

Jason is quickly becoming a smarmy, arrogant heel and doing a pretty good job of it.  Rollins couldn’t care less about Jason as long as he gets what he wants and Jordan is intent on being full of himself.  I like it!

 

Secret Santa match – Miztourage vs. Braun Strowman

The Miztourage came to job…and job they did.  Not much to say here.  Braun ran over them like a Mack truck.  End scene…

 

In ring segment – Alexa Bliss

Alexa is just so completely hate-able.  When she talked about Stephanie’s announcement, you could tell she was really feeling it.  She also turned it off so quickly to get right back to business – taking responsibility for the existence of the match itself.  LOVE it!  Asuka came out and made things all too real for Alexa.  Alexa sold her fear and then received a nasty kick from Asuka.  I LOVE Asuka’s mystique.  I kinda want Nakamura and Asuka in a tag team together.  Crazy?

 

Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan vs. The Bar (Cesaro and Sheamus)

Okay, Booker doesn’t like Jason again.  He turns on Jason more than Big Show used to turn.  Unbelievable.  I’m really starting to think Booker is now doing this on purpose.  Okay, on to the match.  It was really very good.  Seth sold his time in the ring like a champ and Jordan does a mean “hot tag” too.  I still can’t quite believe The Bar lost the belts!…but I like it!

I absolutely cannot wait for Jordan to become a bigger deal.  When he finally turns on Kurt, the place will erupt.  There are two ways to go.  One way is for him to do the “you’ve never been in my life so you must pay” approach.  The other far more tantalizing way would be the “you aren’t really my dad and I fooled you into thinking you were” approach.  The latter makes far more sense as we’ve already seen Jason’s real parents on TV.  Unless, of course, we’re supposed to forget that happened. that’s really the direction for WWE to travel in with Jason.  There was some discussion tonight in our “Dignified Discussion” of having him abandon Seth in the ring and “hard turn”.  I’m so glad that didn’t happen as Jason will now become insufferable as one half of the Tag Team champions.  It also gives Seth something else to do now that Dean is on the shelf.

Anyway, it’s been a blast filling Dre’s shoes for the week!  He’ll be back next week with another edition of “The Getback”.  Botch out!