The Night Of 1,000 Swerves

I’m going to be doing this Afterglow a bit differently. A close friend who has been a wrestling fan for many years has become disillusioned by what has been going on in the WWE and while he didn’t watch WrestleMania, he wrote out his feelings about each match and sent them to me to do with as I wish. He was thinking Royal Inquisition because he knows I’m always looking for great questions but I decided to edit up what he wrote and add it into the Afterglow to really give you great reactions to the show from two very different people. I’m always happy and perky unless I’m trashing someone hard whereas the Dark Druid is a disgruntled former fan who wants to see the WWE come back to greatness. He and I talk wrestling a lot, even when we should be doing medieval stuff, but he does a great job of keeping me grounded. His comments will be in italics following my own comments for each match.

Dark Druid – First, the lackluster of storylines, and overall writing this has not been anything that I would invest time or money for to watch it live. For the last few years, WWE product has lost its polish, NXT has indeed been a better product but by the time half the crew gets to the main roster, the writers look at them, have a brain aneurism, and basically kill what made them good in NXT. With that said, I have read just the results not the match quality.

Kick-Off Show

Andre The Giant Battle Royal

A lot of people predicted Matt Hardy to win this match but I couldn’t see it. The problem with the ATG Battle Royal is that no one who has won has gone anywhere and that’s the last thing I want for Matt Hardy right now with his Woken storyline. Most of us were expecting Jeff Hardy, Brother Nero, or Willow to appear in some way, so the fact that is was Bray was a lovely surprise. Nice swerve!

DD – Meh. The Woken one is a great non-Vince created character and it was something that Matt can sink his teeth in and make it his own.  However to win this, for me, feels cheap, especially where the Final Deletion was pulled off TV. Oh speaking of which, Wyatt helps Matt….. (takes drag of cig)…. (Looks up at the ceiling)…. (sigh) yeah,  definitely didnt do it for me.

 

Cruiserweight Champion Match

This was a solid match and both looked good in the ring but it felt as though their nerves were messing with them a bit. It just wasn’t as great as I expected it to be.

DD – I havent caught the “205 Live” or any cruiserweight matches but considering the amount of time they are putting into this division, could we see a WWE spin of the X Division in TNA? Its possible but unless I get the spark again, I’m just going by others reports of “typical cruiserweight match.”

 

WM Women’s Battle Royal

I loved how all the women turned on one and tossed her out, then did the same with my pick to win this match, Dana. I also loved how the NXT women banded together against the WWE women. I loved some of the little stories in the match, and I worry that the woman in orange is actually as horrible as she was in this match. The work between Sasha and Bayley was great! I really hope Bayley is all over Sasha tonight! I also love how Bayley thought she won but when she realized she didn’t, she knew she was screwed against Naomi, and that was fun to watch.

DD – I havent watched it so if the quality has improved since when I watched last (where Diva Battle Royals lasted all of 3min), I’m hoping for improvement.

 

WrestleMania 34

IC Championship Match

Does McMahon really hate Balor that much? It sure seems that way! This was a decent match, not as good as I expected, but good all the same. What bothers me is that Balor keeps getting the short end of the stick. On a positive note, I loved Balor’s LGBTQ entrance and ring gear. I want to hug him for that.

DD – Okay, we see who is getting not only a push but yet a major shove. Seth is doing exactly what needs to be done to keep himself relevant. HEY FINN!! It’s time to wake up. If your not going full Bullet Club vs Balor Club, it’s time to bring that spark full force. HEY WWE!! Let him do this and watch what happens…. over all anyone but Miz was good for me.

 

SD Women’s Championship Match

This was so much fun, but also quite confusing. I really didn’t think that Asuka would lose to Charlotte! I knew, in my heart, that it needed to be Ember Moon that ended Asuka’s streak, but that didn’t happen, and I’m at a loss over it. Also, the Asuka I knew would’t have given that love to Charlotte, but turn heel and take her blonde bum down. So, while I loved the love between them, and I’m sure it was real, I didn’t want real in that moment, I wanted bum kicking!

DD – Holy smokes, how the heck did they sign that deal? Not that Charlotte isn’t a talent because Charlotte is a hell of a hand and a great addition to the Flair legacy so I wonder what did gave Asuka to do the job? Now with that said, from what I have read, the match was a textbook wrestling match so why can the girls bring what the guys seem to lack?

 

US Championship Match

What a mess! Why? We had one member of the Wrestle Royalty Community state in the Dignified Discussion that if Mahal won, then he was done. Most people say those things, but don’t follow through. Last night Mahal won, and we never saw him again that night. I hope he’s not completely done, because he’s a great part of our WRC, and like all of us, he deserves to not be mocked by the WWE. We were all mocked by the WWE last night. Further, the three guys in the ring with Mahal were kicked in the slats, and emasculated, all because McMahon has a thing for muscular guys, and seems to think that pushing Mahal covers for the blatant racism within the WWE for decades.

DD – I…. mmmmmmm….. I mmmmmm…. look, I get the mid-card is really weak, but when I see Roode and Orton on a card for a title match, even with two others, it just shows me that they are really struggling. Why do I say this? Jinder getting squashed by Undertaker and Kane at Raw 1000. He has had the strap!. 

 

Ronda & Angle vs Steph & Trip

The story told in this match was brilliant! So much greatness in this match, and so many sloppy moves. We all know the sloppy was Ronda. I think I know why Ronda had so many issues early in the match. In MMA a fighter has to get out there and do all they can as fast as they can to win. In the WWE it’s all about pacing, and entertaining. Once she calmed down and got into the groove, she was so much better in the ring. Her submission holds on Trip and Steph were lovely, and she sold better than I thought she’d be able to do. Lastly, everyone knows that I had been chomping at the bit to see what her ring gear, hair, and makeup would look like in the ring. I wasn’t surprised that her hair was back off her face, but thrilled that it wasn’t pulled up and back tight as in the octagon. She had on lots of black eyeliner that made her look that much more mad and angsty, but was also simple. Her ring gear was such an homage to Piper, but also sexy as heck! The sporan looked out of place over that booty skirt, but that’s one tiny thing in all that beauty.

DD – Okay, this is how she should be booked for her break in match, and really against the princes and the steroid god. Sigh. I guess it made it feel like a publicity stunt. She should just be placed at the bottom of the Women’s Division and just run through each girl in quick succession, causing the two title holders to basically panic. Overall, I hear it’s a good match.

 

SD Tag Team Championship Match

What the heck was this? Now, I love how New Day and the Usos worked together on this one, and how dominant Rowan and Harper are, but the whole thing just looked like a cartoon. I know New Day are cartoon characters, as are the BBs, but in this match they all felt very 1983 to me, and not at all in a good way. All that being said, I’m glad there are new SD Tag Team Champs, because they needed to shake it up.

DD – You can tell the writing team has no bloody idea what to do with tag teams.  Granted, they have NEVER knew what to do about tag teams with the exception of the Duddley Boyz, Hardy Boyz, and Edge and Christian. So really this would be a smoke break match, and I think they need to go back to the drawing board, and really, New Day needs a repackage cause I’m surprised they are good at being annoying.

 

Taker Squashes Cena

Well that was a squash match! I love Taker, almost as much as my co-writer, and that’s saying something, but that doesn’t mean he should be working the ring. Between his age and his health issues, there’s no reason for Taker to be in the ring. I understand not wanting to give it up, but it’s time.

DD – Undertaker….. wait what…. oh crap, Daddy Deadman made his return…..vs John Cena. Winner: Undertaker. At 53, I’m sure that he is breaking down and FYI, as the biggest Undertaker fan there is, I hate to say it, but retirement should be there because he’s done it all! With that said, I read it was not a typical Deadman WrestleMania (and I’m reading the CBS Sports Report). I don’t think it could be flat.,.. or better yet, it SHOULD.  If Cena, or whomever, calls him out once a year and makes a challenge, it should be just as close to a squash cause it’s Taker, and it should be an honor just to be in the ring at WM but at 53, make it look good but plan on laying down!

 

Bryan & Shane vs Sami & KO

This was magical. Bryan in the ring was beautiful but made even greater by who he was facing. This was back to his ROH roots which was perfect for his return to the ring. Actually, everything here was almost perfect, right down to that earth-shattering kiss with Brie after the match. I also have to admit that Shane’s kids getting in KO’s face was brilliant! Linda looked a bit freaked out by it all, but the boys held nothing back. They are McMahons through and through!

DD – Saw this coming as soon as I heard he was coming back to the ring, so I figured he‘d get a little push and Shane coming from a virus. I havent watched it, but might catch this on YouTube. We shall see!

 

Raw Women’s Championship Match

Wow, what horrible ring gear on Nia! Actually, if it wasn’t gold on black, and had they had actually worked with her curves, rather than against them, she would have looked amazing out there. Instead, it was hard to watch her ring work for that garish outfit. Okay, I know there was a match too, and it was exactly what the bullied girl needed to do at WrestleMania. It was what we thought would happen, and it was a solid match, but who can beat Nia for the strap? Only time will tell.

DD – Well they got it off of Alexa and to another member of the Rock‘s family. If I was going to watch this again, I would be a big mark for Nia Jax. She should be what Kharma should of been:  a weapon of woman destruction!

 

WWE Championship Match

What a dream match! I know a lot people have said they liked their NJPW match better, and I need to watch that, but I was pretty impressed with what I saw last night, both during and after the match. I got why they didn’t turn Asuka heel after they turned Nakamura, but I also saw that the WWE is still mired in racism after both Royal Rumble Match winners lost their WrestleMania matches. I’m so not impressed with the WWE for that. All that being said, I hope this feud isn’t ending, and Nakamura is Champion sooner than later.

DD – Didn’t I see this in New Japan some time ago? No, seriously, I figured they changed it up a bit, but this looks like the same feeling as their New Japan feud so this is not going anywhere anytime soon. Hey AJ, talk to Finn and get BC running cause ya know strength in numbers!

 

Raw Tag Team Championship Match

Many people had issue with this match and called it lazy booking. I, on the other hand, loved every moment of it. Before WrestleMania started my husband, Stacy, said that Strowman needed to pull a jobber from the audience to stand on the apron and not tag into the match at all, that way Strowman did all the work. Well, he didn’t exactly do that, but close. What a great way to go with things. Such a HUGE swerve, but at one point Strowman looked worried that he couldn’t find Nicholas in the crowd. I loved that Nicholas actually tagged into the match, even though he didn’t/couldn’t do anything in the ring. So much cuteness and greatness!

DD – Wait! What? A kid? I know Braun is being pushed as a monster but ummm. (This is why I stopped watching!) The kid was a plant, soooooooooooooo… (throws papers in the air!)

 

Universal Championship Match

Ugh! This was as bad as I thought it would be. With all the questions about BL possibly fighting with McMahon backstage, I have to say that BL needs to get the bleep away from the WWE and any championships involved with the company. Not that I like how Reigns has been pushed, but BL so obviously doesn’t care about the WWE or the fans, so I have no respect or interest in seeing him at all, anywhere!

DD – I couldn’t care less but figured Brock would go over. The crowd was chanting “CM Punk” and “We want Nicholas” so I guess they were done too!

 

 

Final Glow

What a roller coaster of a night! So much greatness and so much crap in the same show. Then again, the show was 30 hours long, so what were we to expect? I know we are going to see the backlash of this WrestleMania for at least a couple weeks, and I hope that certain things are made better after the horror we saw last night, and I hope the greatness continues from what we saw last night. Hopefully things will only get better.

Queen KB & Dark Druid