Arquette Is Off The Hook (Royal Rumble Review)

I’ve never been quiet about my love for the Royal Rumble.  My favorite PPV of the year, by far, other than NXT TakeOver: WarGames.  This year there’s been such a damper on everything because our world is in continued turmoil, but for the first time in MONTHS I woke up a couple times this past week with a smile on my face because of my excitement for this show.  I’ll admit I’m worried that it won’t be as great as usual without all the fans there counting down.  I’m to the point that unless I know I’m watching vintage wrestling, I am shocked when I see a wrestling clip with fans in attendance.  Our world has changed that much, and I hope it doesn’t hurt my favorite of the year.  For the first time in a year I’m truly optimistic going into a PPV.  I’n actually finally excited about something again.

 

 

Tag This!

 

New gear isn’t always good.  While the color is stunning on Nia, the red she was wearing made her look like she’s gained even more weight since she returned to the roster.  I’m shocked she’s in the ring right now as she blows up so quickly and gets sloppy fast.  It looked like she was gasping for breath after very little ring work.  I think WWE needs to do a Wellness check, to see if she’s healthy enough to be in the ring.  Also shocked Asuka didn’t do her roots before a Big 4 PPV.

Since that’s off my chest, I thought the other three looked great in the ring, exactly as I expect them to be in a PPV match.  They were on point.  Charlotte’s natural selection on both Nia and Shayna looked great, as did Asuka powerbombing Nia off the corner.  I wasn’t at all surprised that Ric and Lacey were out there.  It was pretty much guaranteed and helped get the belts off Charlotte and Asuka.  They were barely together as Tag Team Champs, so it was a waste to put the belts on Charlotte and Asuka.  Hopefully we can get back to Nia and Shayna working with the blondes.

This match was better than a typical Raw match, but nothing fantastic.

 

Why?  Just, Why?

This match makes no sense to me.  We have seen Goldberg too many times over the past couple of years, and enough his enough!  He’s old, he has NO cardio, and even his big moves (only moves) have gotten VERY sloppy

I’d like to say sloppy right off the bat, as McIntyre was almost brained on the pyro, but neither of them knew where he would land going through the barricade.  McIntyre being ‘so beaten’ before the bell helped even the score a bit, even though Goldberg looked like he was ready for a sit two moves in.  Thank goodness this was over fast and the old man lost.  Only because McIntyre retained and sold so well did this match get the grade it got.  It would have gotten ugly if McIntyre lost.

 

No More LV!

 

I hate to start match this way, but I’ve been railing on the Mysterio family for doing this, so I’d be remiss to not do the same for Sasha.  I get that Luis Vuitton is a high-end designer line to strive for, but it’s getting too prolific in WWE.  It’s beautiful gear.  Well, the top is great, but the bottoms are odd.  They look like men’s tighty-whities.  She should at least have her name on her bum as she usually does.

Parts of this match were so glitchy.  Not real botches, but things that didn’t look right, especially Sasha’s blocked 5-star frog splash.  Some things were just slightly off.  Otherwise it wasn’t a bad match, but it also wasn’t a PPV-level match by any stretch.

 

Bugs Bunny And GI Bro

What more can I really say about this?

 

Rumble In The ‘lando

 

So nice to see Naomi back.  It breaks my heart that she’s not on TV every week because there are two perfect places to put her and really let her run with them.  Yet nothing but #2 in the Rumble.  I write that, but she lasted longer than most in this match and looked amazing doing it.  I loved her working with Bianca to do their cute return to the ring.  It was another great use for Bianca’s braid.

Shotzi shooting Billie Kay with the tank was great!  I really thought BK would be outside the ring until her former partner came to the ring, not Jillian Hall of all people!  I will admit I loved a lot of the silliness about at times in this match, but all the while Bianca, Bayley, Naomi, and Shayna are fighting all over the ring as if the camera was solely on them.  Something I’ve seen not happen as well in Men’s Rumble Matches.  Shows their dedication in the best of ways.

Victoria looked really good in the ring.  A bit of rust, and her body is looking more her age, but who cares!  She was in the Rumble and looked great.  So happy to see her at least getting along with WWE.  Even better was her in this match as a viable competitor, not just someone tossed out quickly.  I’m impressed and shocked at how long Jillian lasted as well.  I’d have been thrilled if that was all we got for legends because there are more than enough women in NXT who could have joined this match, but then we got Mickie and Torrie Wilson.  Torrie actually looked better in the ring now than back when she sorta worked the ring weekly.

There were some fun moments as well.  As much as I love Dana, the way Rhea eliminates her was so impressive.  Mandy’s knee to Foxy’s face was epic!  Tamina and Rhea hard-hitting was impressive, as was Lana’s fight and resolve.

The final three in this match are three of the most athletic women in WWE.  They are all of a size, and while Bianca is the strongest, neither Charlotte nor Rhea are weaklings by any stretch.  The final two are even better!  My pick and my second ended this match, and I’m giddy.  Two NXT girls, only one of them recently brought up, the other more than ready.  The back and forth between them, the mirror imaging they were doing in there garnered a “This is awesome!” chants from the BlunderDome and around the world.

I will admit that they were the slightest bit sloppy, but Bianca had been in there since number three and Rhea had been fighting hard since she entered.  The work between them at the end was beautiful because you could feel how much they both wanted it.  Bianca bawling the way she did was so endearing.  I can’t imagine how hard it would to be in the ring for an hour and know you’re going to make this massive leap in her career.  On the other hand, being in so long, fighting so hard, then losing at the end, it has to be hard as well.

 

 

Cuffs (Botch)


This was the match I was most looking forward to. The story that gets us to this match has been told so masterfully. I can’t think of a better-told story in the last decade than this one. These two could feud forever a la Ric Flair/Dusty Rhodes and I’d be fine with it. It’s been that good.

The pace of this thing was just perfection. It was taken so slowly but so viciously. This thing went everywhere it could. Oh, did I mention that Roman ran into him with a cart? There’s literally nothing they didn’t use. They absolutely put their bodies on the line for this. The imagination at work here with Roman doing away with the official as he got to nine was just brilliant. There was a major issue with the cuffs and the ref had to stop the count so they could get them off. Even Corey came in with the save on commentary to make it make sense. Sadly, it did knock the pacing of the end of it. The finish was just…what? A Last Man Standing match shouldn’t end with a worker’s regular submission. It all just felt rather mundane. I’m thinking they had to truncate the ending because of the men’s Rumble. Still, none of this negates the great work done otherwise.

 

It’s The Pants (SAM)

This match had plenty to follow considering the two matches it was following. The women’s Rumble was excellent and the Reigns/Owens match was great for the most part. Edge and Orton were announced to start the Rumble and Edge wasted no time in getting to the action with Orton. Sami Zayn was next and then Mustafa Ali. Jeff Hardy, Dolph Ziggler and Shinsuke Nakamura would be the next ones out for the Rumble. Carlito would be next as the first surprise entrant and he was looking real jacked out there. He didn’t look bad in the ring either so that was nice to see. Xavier Woods, Big E and John Morrison would be the next three out and I loved Woods and Big E’s gear that was a tribute to the late Brodie Lee aka Luke Harper. Ricochet and Elias were next and then Damian Priest would be the next after them. Priest looked really good in the Rumble and looked right at home with everybody else. The Miz would be next and he would smash Bad Bunny’s DJ’s gear that was on the entrance ramp. Bunny would come out as he took offense to that and distract Miz and Morrison. That would allow Priest to eliminate both men and Bunny would hit a dive on them as the Rumble hit the halfway point. 

Riddle would be the next one out and he had quite the good showing in the Rumble and that should continue to silence the rumors of him having heat. Daniel Bryan and Kane would be next and they had a nice moment as they embraced with a hug to callback their time as Team Hell No. King Corbin, Otis and Dominik Mysterio were next and they didn’t have the best showing. I will say that it is interesting that Dominik is matching colors with Corbin of late and I wonder if that will lead to something. Lashley was out next and they really made him look like a force out there. The Hurricane would be the next surprise entrant and he would make quite the thump when he was eliminated. Christian was the next one out and I was totally shocked by it and I loved the look on Edge’s face to see his best friend back in the ring. You could clearly tell how much the moment meant to both men and Christian did good in the Rumble. AJ Styles would be next with Omos in tow and he would be followed by Rey Mysterio. Omos did plenty of eliminations for AJ and also saved him a few times until he couldn’t when AJ was eliminated. Sheamus and Cesaro were the next ones out and I liked how they shared a moment together to call back to their time as The Bar. Seth Rollins would then make his return at number 29 and he looked good in there. The rumor was he was supposed to be back weeks ago but I think this worked well for his return. Braun Strowman was the final one out and he did fine.  

Edge looked like he had the match won when he eliminated Rollins but Orton would return after being taken out of the match with a possible injury and hit him with an RKO. Orton looked to throw him out but Edge reversed it and has now won his second Rumble. This Rumble was fun but the women’s Rumble was the better one this year to me. The best surprise had to be Christian coming back and Edge is now the third man to win the Rumble from the number one slot. Overall, fun Rumble and I now wonder who Edge will choose to go after at Wrestlemania. I do hope they really drag this out because it can make for one heck of a story leading up the biggest show of the year.  

 

 

 

 

 

Shut up Corey, We’re talking

Wow, just wow.  What an all-around amazing PPV.  Honestly, I can’t say much more than that.  It was all a Royal Rumble should be and so much more!

Queen, Botch, Sam